I really enjoyed this assignment. Trying to find different arguments that were being conducted online lead to some pretty ridiculous arguments being made. I realized that maybe the enjoyment I get out of listening or reading pointless arguments is not a good thing. In fact, maybe I am part of the problem because I love a good argument. I find it great when I can win an argument, but I also find that whenever I lose one, the benefit of learning something new definitely outweighs the emotional toll of losing an argument. But I digress and let's continue towards the argument I chose to follow.
"Ghosting" people who are rude, annoying and making your life worse, etc etc isn't a shitty thing to do and should be normalised.
This is the headline from a sub-reddit called r/unpopularopinion. The OP (original poster) states that basically it should be ok for one to "ghost" someone who is in the wrong. Here is a link to the Original
Thread. Ghosting refers to ending a relationship suddenly and without notice to the other party. Now that we got that part out of the way, we look at the argument that took place.
Main
Argument - This is the argument in its entirety.
The two adversaries are BubbleBulbasaur and artic-lions7. First things first, both are outstanding names. Nothing vulgar to immediately put someone off, unless you are a Charizard fan. Bubble believes that it is ok to ghost someone and gives reasons why they have done it in the past. Artic counters then with the argument that what Bubble's proposed "people get attached too easily to others" as not a valid argument for ghosting. Thus starts the argument.
I chose this argument because I do believe that ghosting is becoming more and more popular, and I was curious to see how others felt about the topic. I myself have been ghosted twice with women I had gone on a few dates with. I was finally able to speak to one of them years later and she admitted that she did not feel a spark and did not want to have an awkward conversation. This of course did not help me with the fact that I thought I did something horribly wrong for half a decade. Here is a graph that shows just how common ghosting has become.
The first concern I have with this argument is when Bubbles comments with "just move on with your life". While one can understand the point of view, to say those words is just inviting an argument to take place. It implies the idea that the relationship you had was small and it is your problem if you are still attached. It is easy to assume that someone is being too sentimental, but we all handle emotions differently than others and that should be kept into consideration.
The second concern is when Artic responds with the statement of "you're the asshole for ghosting these people with unhealthy mental disorders". This response automatically assumes that the above-mentioned men that bubbles had dealt with were mentally unstable. Two things with that. One there is no way to know that someone is mentally unstable or not from a sentence by an admittedly objective source. The other part is, whether it was meant to or not, it comes across as an insult towards Bubbles.
The third concern is the reply of Bubble that "I shouldn't be forced to do something that makes me uncomfortable because you have issues". Again, the comment again makes the two mentioned men above are mentally unstable. The other issue is the idea the argument is now about the mental issues and how to deal with them. The main argument is ghosting and whether it is a fair thing to do or not. This has now led to mental health and how responses can cause anxiety.
Here are five rules that I think would be useful during an online argument:
1. Keep it to the topic on hand - It is important that the argument stays on the subject that is first mentioned and not on the many offshoots that seem to pop up from the original argument.
2. Admit to a good point - This is the hardest part in any argument. Admitting when the other side has a valid point is important to understanding each other as well as learning and growing.
3. Be gracious - If someone does concede their point, be gracious and accommodating. Do not flaunt their ignorance in their face. Understand that you yourself has been wrong before.
4. Keep it simple - If possible, keep your arguments simple and straightforward. There is no need to throw needless facts around and to lose your audiences engagement.
5. The Golden Rule - Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is a rule everyone should desperately try to live their lives by. It is so important that we all treat each other with dignity and respect, even if it is online forums.
I'll leave off with this video from TED Talks. It is a video that describes how one man argues cases in the Supreme Court and how to win with those arguments. I find it interesting because of the idea of how empathy is so important to any argument.
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